Don’t let something silly tear your marriage apart! Here are a few things that could ruin a happy marriage:
- Complaining to friends and family — If you have marriage problems, you can talk to each other, a therapist, or perhaps a trusted sibling, parent, or grandparent. Other than that, your problems stay in-house. DEFINITELY no complaining about your spouse, or the things they do.
- Playing the victim –– There are no victims in a healthy relationship. Sure, mistakes are made, but both parties have a role to play in the mistakes. You must take responsibility for the way you feel and acted in every situation. You have as much a role in your partner’s mistakes as they have in yours. Neither of you is “victim”, so stop blaming your partner for everything and wallowing in self-pity.
- Comparing with others –– Yes, your parents have been happily married for nearly 50 years. Yes, your best friend is in a happy, healthy relationship with the love of her life. Yes, your sister is successfully carrying out an open relationship. So what? You are none of those people. You have your own problems, mistakes, highs, and lows. Stop comparing yourself to others. Use their good examples to figure out how to have a happy marriage, and learn from their mistakes. But stop comparing your relationship to someone else’s. You’ll always fall short, as their “perfection” is just in your head.
- Criticizing –– There is a difference between problem-solving and criticizing. When you talk about a problem for the purpose of solving it, you approach it from a constructive viewpoint. When you criticize, you tear down. Criticism is NEVER productive or healthy!
Read more things that could ruin a happy marriage in Part 2 of this post…
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